Posted in Life

Waiting

Find me one person who actually likes waiting. Waiting for the final call of a job interview, waiting for the results of a scan, waiting for that special one to reply? Waiting is hell on the nerves and on the heart. So why do we need to wait? Good things do not always come to those who wait. The scan results might not be good or maybe your special one never replied. So then how does waiting help us?

Waiting just helps you to increase your patience and makes you realize what is it that you actually want. You might or might not get it but that wait period will surely build up your courage to handle whatever comes your way.

You might not like what you get, but the wait, without you realizing, increases your patience and your tolerance level to handle a situation irrespective of the outcome. Subconsciously you are well-equipped to handle it. Then some random day you will look back and wonder how you managed to come out of a tough situation! It is because you waited.

So what are you waiting for today?

Posted in Life

Reality is an Illusion…

because just like an illusion, reality is our perception of it. Someone else would have a different perception of our life and reality.

You might think you are miserable since you have a good job but no partner? Someone might think, that you have a good job and are single, so free to live your life on your terms. Just like an illusion; the same image is perceived in a different manner by 2 different people.

Take this current pandemic for instance, a reality without any illusion? I still feel there is an illusion here too. Since we still do not know the complete scientific aspect of it, for some it is a like any other flu blown out of proportion, and for some it is a worldwide pandemic killing millions. All a matter of perception.

So then that begets the question, what is reality? Reality is just simple and straight facts minus the emotions and perceptions. In the above case, reality would be that millions are dying due to a disease.

However, in personal life, we might be able to keep opinions or perceptions aside, but we really cannot discount emotions out of any situation. Emotions keep strengthening, weakening; basically they just keep changing which in turn keeps changing our perception and finally our reality.

So, you must be wondering, why and how does this help? Well, it is simple. The moment you accept that reality is nothing but your perception, it would make it easier to understand and accept someone else’s perception of our reality and vice-versa; making it easier for us to survive and strengthen our relationships.

Posted in Life

Self-love or Selfishness?

Everyone wants someone but no one wants to be that someone.

This is a very bitter truth of life.

It is so ingrained in us to look for something we want that we never pause and give a thought about having those same qualities in ourselves that we are looking for.

We humans are selfish by nature and that trumps self love to the extent that we cannot understand the difference.

Looking only for what we want can be a form of self-love, but some might also call it selfishness.

In my opinion, there is a very thin line between selfishness and self-love. And also, if the same is done by our partner then it is surely, without any doubt, selfishness and not self-love. If every person is entitled to self-love then does that not include all our relationships; friends, parents, siblings, spouse, partner?

So how do you differentiate between Self-love and selfishness?

Self-love would involve self-care and not hurting someone’s feelings. Someone might say that respecting oneself is also a form of self-love. And that might eventually lead to hurting the opposite person.

Well, respect is important, but then it is a two-way street and it has to be earned, even for your own self. Have you done anything specific to gain your own respect? Or you respect yourself just because you are supposed to? The answer to that would be if your action makes you feel that the hurt will be deserved by the opposite person, then it might not be self-respect.

If you do something in the name of self-love but still it feels it has to be justified as self-love; then think again, it might not be self-love, it could be something else. Do not make this decision on something you know, base it on what you understand; because as Malcolm Gladwell says “The key to a good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding”

It is very difficult to walk on this thin line, but listening to your heart and instincts will always help you to decide whether it is the path of self-love or selfishness that you are walking on.